antichrist.mp3
John Farley (Seann William Scott): I can't make it to Chicago. mom needs me. She's about to marry Antichrist.
   

cheesybread.mp3
Birthday Kid (Logan Grove): I want cheesy bread!
Nedderman (Ethan Suplee): Then, shut up! Keep your mouth shut you get your cheesy bread, alright?
   

fruitcake.mp3
Mr. Woodcock's Dad: Beat it, fruitcake!
   

genius.mp3
Mr. Woodcock's Dad: Who is this Genius?
   

imnotjesus.mp3
John Farley: Wait, you have father?
Mr. Woodcock: Yes, Farley, I'm not Jesus.
   

inthefamily.mp3
John Farley: You're going down, Woodcock.
Mr. Woodcock: You must like getting spanked, Farley. I guess it runs family.
   

namedjohn.mp3
John Farley: Ow, it's me! It's me! It's John! Stop! Ow! Stop! It's John, man!
Beverly Farley (Susan Sarandon): Oh, Johnny!
John Farley: What hell, Woodcock?
Mr. Woodcock: Well, it's dark. Instinct took over.
John Farley: What about when I said, 'It's me! It's John!'?
Mr. Woodcock: John's very common name. There could be burglar named John.
   

nutsack.mp3
Mr. Woodcock: You're not showering?
John Farley: No, no. I'm good.
Mr. Woodcock: You know, this is not France, Farley. Maybe you don't mind smelling like nut sack all day, but I gotta be car with you.
   

puppet.mp3
Maggie Hoffman: You're gonna go there say something I'm gonna shove arm up your ass work you like puppet!
   

realbottle.mp3
Maggie Hoffman: Excuse me. Hi. Could I get real bottle , please? I'm an alcoholic, not Barbie doll.