barnes.mp3Dr. Sobel: Dad, you're not coming to my wedding? Dr. Sobel's Dad: We wanna be there, but I've got three book signings next weekend! I can't piss off these big bookstores! If I cancel, they stick me down on the bottom shelf....THAT'S the way they are! Dr. Sobel: I know, that's the word on the street. Barnes is okay, but that Noble is a vindictive prick! [ Contrib. by ]
ben.mp3Billy Crystal introducing himself [ Contrib. by ]
chazz.mp3 Chazz Palminteri introducing himself [ Contrib. by ]
deadnote.mp3Dr. Sobel: Oh, now you're gonna tell me it was a suicide? Paul Vitti: I think he left a note. Jelly, did they find that note? Jelly: Ah, no, but they will in a minute. Dr. Sobel: Oh let me guess what it says....'Life is bullshit...I can't fu**in' take it anymore.....signed, the dead guy.' Jelly: Hey, that's good, doc! [ Contrib. by ]
fishing.mp3Jelly: I talked to a shrink one time...when I got sent upstate on a....fishing trip. [ Contrib. by ]
getalife.mp3Caroline: But what should I doooo? Dr. Sobel: Well, the first thing I think that you should do, is to stop whining about this pathetic loser! FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! YOU ARE A TRADEGY QUEEN! STEVE DOESN'T LIKE ME! STEVE DOESN'T RESPECT ME! OH WHO GIVES A SHIT! GET A F**IN' LIFE!!! [ Contrib. by ]
greeks.mp3Dr. Sobel: Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother. Paul Vitti: (Sighs)....Fuckin' Greeks! [ Contrib. by ]
hearno.mp3Dr. Sobel: You don't hear the word 'No' very often, do you? Paul Vitti: I hear it all the time, only it's more like "No! Please! No! No!" [ Contrib. by ]
nodoctor.mp3Dr. Sobel: I am no longer your doctor! Paul Vitti: What? Because of this? Dr. Sobel: Because of this "little" double homicide?! YES BECAUSE OF THIS!! [ Contrib. by ]
pillow.mp3Dr. Sobel: You know, you know what I do when I'm mad, Paul? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow! See how you feel. Paul Vitti: (Grabs a gun and fires several shots)....There's your fuckin' pillow! Dr. Sobel: Feel better? Paul Vitti: Yeah, I do! [ Contrib. by ]
